In today’s Internet-engrossed society, dogs have managed to rise from their already premier status among the animal kingdom in the eyes of humans. It takes only one quick scan through Buzzfeed or Upworthy or Barstool to realize that dogs are the primary power of Internet culture. (I’m disregarding porn, as this is family blog.) It’s a natural next step […]Read more "The Curious Incident of The Dog"
Opening ceremonies are ridiculous. Russia’s ridiculous. Put them together and you got some of the best, most bizarre “live” television you can come across in the doldrums of February. Here are the best five parts of the Sochi opening ceremonies: 5) The Floating Head of John Elway Why was John Elway’s noggin floating around with […]Read more "The Five Best Parts of the Sochi Opening Ceremonies"
Intriguing. Profound. Groundbreaking. Until you remember that he’s in love with his phone. Then it shifts instantaneously to hilarious.Read more "Compact Movie Review: her"
We all know that YouTube isn’t exactly a bastion of high quality video content. For every enlightening expose on using drones to protect orangutans in their native habitat, there’s about 2.3 million of whatever the hell this is. That being said, there’s a special place in hell for the following five clips. They are the […]Read more "The Five Worst YouTube Videos of 2013"
You can check in on the first part of this series, in which I celebrate everyone’s favorite day by looking at Monday morning gym sessions and Munchkin’ bombs, here. 3. Produce Blank Stares When Asked About Your Weekend “Welcome back. How was your weekend?” (Enter internal dialogue) Weekend? What weekend? What are you talking about, dummy? Today’s […]Read more "4 Most Monday Things You Can Do On a Monday (Part Two)"
Numbers one and two happened to me. I have no comment on numbers three and four. The premise of these next couple posts is pretty straightforward. There are things that happen to you on a Monday, and only on a Monday. While the stories remain untouched, I have changed the names of others to protect […]Read more "4 Most Monday Things You Can Do On a Monday (Part One)"
I don’t normally find writing about myself to be that interesting- my autobiography would include an inordinate amount of critiques of the various flavors of Cheez-Its. But I have noticed a recent trend that I need to point out. There seems to be a multitude of D-class celebrities who, particularly in the eyes of the […]Read more "The Four “Celebrities” To Whom I Apparently Bear a Resemblance (Ordered by Ridiculousness of Haircut)"